that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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