My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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