dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
