We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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