Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
