I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
