HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
