so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
