If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
