In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
