Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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