can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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