i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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