I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
