I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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