I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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