He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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