i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We're too hungover to prance.
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