nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
