dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
