Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
