you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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