My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
