you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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