I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
