guys are not supposed to queef...right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
