just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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