i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
