I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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