According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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