i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
