it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
