"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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