I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
