wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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