Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
this will be a night to untag.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
