Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
