can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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