I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize