best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
