did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize