Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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