do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
