Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
