your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
