remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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