you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize