Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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