just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
