I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize