You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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