It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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