whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just google imaged poop.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
