I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize