i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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