I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize