she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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