11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
