So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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