I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
