This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
